The Come Back
Here I am, back in Ada, Ohio for my fourth year of college. I have
tons of things running through my head right now. Like "how did I get so
old so quickly?" and "what am I going to do after I leave Ohio
Northern?" One main thing running through my head is "am I ready to
be back?' I think I should rewind and catch you up on my last couple of years
at ONU.
I came to Ohio Northern after I graduated high school in 2015. I
grew up in Sandusky, Ohio. Also known as Cedar Point, Ohio. I grew up with two
older sisters who I adore. They are my best friends. My parents are great too.
They have been together now for almost 30 years. I had a wonderful high school
experience. I played three sports all through high school, I had tons of
friends and I even was homecoming queen my senior year. Life was pretty good in
that moment. But college, man did that hit me hard.
Do not get me wrong, I loved Ohio Northern. I love the
people, I love the environment and I love the town. It was NOT Ohio Northern that
made me sick. I just started feeling down one day and that is totally normal
feeling down and upset at school. I mean you miss your parents and friends.
But, my problem was that I felt down every single day. It was like there was a
permanent cloud over my head. I couldn't shake it. I let it go for a couple of
weeks, thinking it’s just how you felt when you were away from home but then
one night I lost it. I cried and cried till I was almost making myself sick.
"What is wrong with me?" That's when I started feeling suicidal. I
remember the first time I thought about suicide as my way out. I've never
experienced a pain like that. So, I told people and got help.
Flash forward to fall semester of my third year of college. I just
moved into my apartment with my three greatest friends. This year WAS going to
be my year or so I thought. Then, I did something that almost took my life.
That's when my parents decided it was no longer safe for me to be Ohio Northern.
Not that Ohio Northern wasn't safe but I wasn't in the right mind set. So I
packed my stuff up half way through fall semester and left. I was devastated. I
just left my best friends and I didn't know when I was going to see them again
and honestly I didn't know if they were going to WANT to see me again. I put
them through so much. What was suppose to be the best four years of their life
quickly turned into worrying about my safety. By the time I realized what I was
doing it was too late for apologizes.
So, I went home. I was home almost nine months. My friends were
all at college. The first couple of weeks I kind of just laid in bed. Then, one
night my friends posted something on their social media. They were having so
much fun. It honestly was my wake-up call, if I wanted to ever go back to Ohio
Northern with my friends and finish my degree then I was going to have to make
some changes. I saw doctors, I took my medicine, I talked to people about it,
and I even changed my major before the start of my senior year. I am so
incredible happy to say that after nine months of hard work that I am in the
best mind set of my life. I've never been so happy.
Here I am, back to school. After being gone for nine months
it kind of feels weird being back. It’s been almost been three weeks since I
moved into my off-campus house with my two favorite people. Now what? Now, I'm
going to have my year. I'm going to finish strong and show people that you can
go from hell and back and still be able to live a normal life. Mental health is
a very serious issue. I lost myself because of it and I ALMOST lost my life.
But, with hard work I was able to find myself again.
"Happiness comes in waves, it'll find
you again" -Unknown
Hi Kylie. How brave you were to tell your story. I am very proud of you. I wish you the very best of luck in your senior year in college. You are one very strong young lady. I am sure your family is very proud of all you have overcome to get to this point. Best of luck to you. Take one day at a time and keep your family and friends close. They are there any time you may need them. Take good care! Love, Ms. McGory
ReplyDeleteKylie you are such a strong person. That is absolutely amazing and I am really proud of you! I had actually a similar story. I did not start school at Ohio Northern. I started my freshman year at Wittenberg University in Springfield, Ohio. I felt from day one there that something was off. I felt depressed and all I did was go to class and come back to my dorm room. I cried nonstop and began to cut out my family, friends, and boyfriend. I knew I needed to find somewhere else and I ended up here at Northern, which was my second choice in schools. I hope your senior year goes great and good luck in all that you do!
ReplyDeleteKylie, this is amazing, and you are so brave! People seem to want to avoid talking about the hard things, but is so important to talk about mental health like this. Thank you for sharing your story with honesty and openness. I'm glad you're back and ready to take your senior year by storm! Best of luck this year, you're going to crush it!
ReplyDeleteWe're one big polar bear family! During my freshman year I hated ONU and thought that I had picked the wrong school. I sat in my dorm room freshman year contemplating transfering to another school and starting all over again. Obviously I decided to stick it out and I'm so glad I did. ONU is who created the man I am today and I can't even imagine any other life. I guess what I'm trying to say is life is a rollercoaster, some are rougher rides than others and some have higher peaks and lower valleys than others, but they all end up back at the station sound and safe. Live life to your fullest and if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here to talk.
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